1. Most couples have normal nicknames for each other. To Alice, I'm her rainbow WTF?! blanket. (Yeah, she's a keeper.)
2. When I'm feeling down, I study the Holocaust or WW2 to cheer up. (It reminds me of what really matters and to not sweat over little things.)
3. I give my suitemate's teddy bear erections.
4. I took a break from doing this to be fed by Ashley like a penguin.
5. The voice of the guy from Dirty Jobs turns me on. (This is only weird, because I have a hopeless case of the lesbian.)